Back to the Movies?

In the nearly four months since I announced that I was leaving my previous job, I've seen only three movies in the theater. Before, I was averaging three a weekend. You'd think my apartment would be cleaner with all of that extra free time, but of course, you'd be wrong.

That won't get any better soon, thanks to an impressive slate of fall movies and, surprisingly, a few in the usually dog days of August that look fun. I don't know that I'll go see all that many of them, but it's feeling more likely than it has all summer.

Here's the lineup for the next several weeks, plus some snark or gush as appropriate.

August 18

Snakes on a Plane: Um, hell yeah. I'll see it opening weekend, maybe opening night. I hope it's as bad as it can be, in the best sense of the phrase.

Material Girls: Um, hell no.

Accepted: I've enjoyed Justin Long since Ed, but I'm feeling a little meh about this one. It looks a little Old School Lite, and I wasn't exactly nuts about that one in the first place.

A Scanner Darkly: Very glad to see this Richard Linklater-directed adaptation of the Phillip K. Dick story finally make its way here. I haven't read the book yet, but I'll be catching this one as soon as I can.

The Illusionist: This turn-of-the-century tale about a magician (Edward Norton) and a man out to debunk him (Paul Giamatti) is only opening in 40 screens this weekend -- needless to say, not in Amarillo. Looks interesting, but not as much so as The Prestige, a similarly themed film starring Hugh Jackman and directed by Christopher Nolan that's due in October. Maybe it's because Jessica Biel's in this one, and her last August movie was that frickin' awful Stealth.

Little Miss Sunshine: This Sundance darling widens to 694 screens this weekend. Not here yet, though.

Trust the Man: Also not opening here yet, but another one I'm interested in, if only because I think Julianne Moore is the greatest thing not just since sliced bread, but since bread itself. Here, she stars in a drama about two men (David Duchovny and Billy Crudup) fighting to save their relationships (with Moore and Maggie Gyllenhaal, respectively). The impressive cast is led by writer/director BartFreundlich (The Myth of Fingerprints and Moore's real-life partner).

August 25

Invincible: Mark Wahlberg stars as a major-league fan who gets the call to join his idols. I saw it already, back when it was called Rock Star. Only I got paid to see that one. Not this one.

Idlewild: Oh man, I really really really hope this one opens here, but films seen as appealing mostly to a black audience don't always make it here right off the bat. It seems to be getting some buzz, though -- mostly over the boiling feud between former OutKasters Andre 3000 and Big Boi. But really, even if it's totally a botch job, the concept -- a modern-day musical taking place during the South during Prohibition -- thrills me.

Beerfest: Definitely a renter, or possibly a bargain theater view. I thoroughly enjoyed Broken Lizard's Super Troopers and mildly enjoyed Club Dread and shamefully enjoyed Dukes of Hazzard (all directed by Jay Chandrasekhar), and this one looks like a throwback to Troopers.

How to Eat Fried Worms: I enjoyed the book back in the day, and if my nephew and niece go, I might tag along if the reviews are good.

(Little Miss Sunshine is supposed to expand to 1,500 screens, so look for it in Amarillo this week.)

September 1

Crank: Jason Statham stars in a Speed-sounding action flick. Apparently, Statham owns this weekend, because his last film, The Transporter 2, came out this time last year -- and yes, I remembered that on my own, and it scares me. I liked Transporter 2 quite a bit, actually; for a crappy action flick, it had style. This one? Not if I'm not getting paid for it.

The Wicker Man: Neil LaBute on a horror flick that's about more traditional scares than his usual wallowing in the morass of human morality? Intriguing. It's a remake of a 1974 horror movie that I've vaguely heard of. Previously, I would have been putting the original at the top of my Netflix queue. Now? Not so much.

Crossover: I saw on IMDB that this is something about basketballers and my eyes glazed over.

(Trust the Man goes wide, and The Illusionist is scheduled to hit 800 screens, meaning either could open here.)

September 8

The Covenant: Another stupid horror flick. Gah.

Hollywoodland: An Auto Focus-style examination of the mysterious death of George Reeves, the 1950s TV Superman. I'd thought that Reeves jumped to his death from some famous building in LA for years, but he allegedly shot himself in the temple at a Hollywood party. Ben Affleck continues to try to wipe the flop stench off him with a potentially career-rebuilding role.

DOA: Dead or Alive: Video-game adapation, so no way in hell. Even if it does star Jaime Pressley from My Name Is Earl.

September 15

The Black Dahlia: Man oh man, I love this poster. Here's another Hollywood true crime story, fictionalized in a novel by James Ellroy. In it, a young starlet is found brutally murdered in a case that was never solved. A hell of a cast, too: Hillary Swank, Scarlett Johansson, Aaron Eckhart, Josh Hartnett and Mia Kirshner, who I interviewed once upon a time when she was Mandy the hot assassin on 24.

Everyone's Hero: Inspirational-looking computer animated film that was being directed by Christopher Reeve at the time of his death. It'll probably be heartwarming and tearjerking and... I just don't think so.

Gridiron Gang: The Rock and Xzibit in what appears to be a younger, more serious version of The Longest Yard. Pass.

The Last Kiss: Zach Braff stars as an ennui-filled slacker reconsidering his life, only it's not Garden State. It's supposed to open wide, so we might actually get it on opening weekend.

September 22

Jackass: Number Two: God help me, I enjoyed the crap out of the original Jackass. If this one makes it to the bargain theater, I'm so there. If not -- DVD.

Fearless: This one's supposedly Jet Li's last action flick. OK, then.

All the King's Men: This might get a staggered release, but it looks like it might be a wide release. Men was supposed to be an Oscar contender last year, but the studio held it back, and it could be the kickoff for this year's major Oscar contenders. Great cast: Sean Penn, Jude Law, Patricia Clarkson and more.

Feast: The latest Project Greenlight film gets two nights of midnight-only screenings before a DVD release. It's a clever-ish marketing idea; who knows if it'll make it here, though.

The Science of Sleep: This one's definitely not opening right away here, but I can't wait 'til it does. Director Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) has the indescribably hot Gael Garcia Bernal as an insecure man who lives mostly in his dizzingly bizarre and beautiful dreams. Yum.

September 29

Flyboys: James Franco gets another shot at the bigtime in a WWI-era pilot who falls for a French woman. I still have some residual Freaks and Geeks affection for Franco, but not enough to see this.

Open Season: Ashton Kutcher and Martin Lawrence, together at last! OK, I really don't care, especially as this looks like another wannabe Pixar film or Shrek. Not interested.

School for Scoundrels: Billy Bob Thornton and Jon (Napoleon Dynamite) Heder team in a film from Old School director Todd Phillips. Hmm, maybe.

The Guardian: Ashton Kutcher again, this time teaming with Kevin Costner, who plays the grizzled veteran rescue swimmer to Kutcher's nubile ... I mean newbie one.